Welcome to the space that encourages thoughts from seed to bloom. This blog is all about giving life to the various threads that run through our minds daily. As an avid thinker myself, I am constantly taking mini notes, vlogs, or mental screenshots to capture the thought process in all its glory. So here, I will be sharing some of the things that the world inspires for me.
As of right now, I am a 20-year-old sitting at home pondering on how I can really express myself in the most authentic way. The conclusion? Nothing. The more thought you put into something, the less you are allowing yourself to just go with the natural flow of being. My initial plan was to give you my life's backstory, which normally would make the most sense. However, in this instance, I feel the best way to introduce myself is to plunge us into how my mind really works.
Nothing about any of us is actually logical. As hard as we may try to make that seem so, we are at heart, nonsensical. And that's what creates our spark. Stumbling along life, figuring things out on the way, and discovering what actually makes us unique. Giving up on the "traditional grain" is what led me to my own point of authentic being. Deciding that I would no longer conform to what has been expected of me has been honestly liberating. Almost like letting go of a toddler's hand and seeing where their chubby little legs take them. Exploring my identity in this world through the gleam of innocent eyes and a free heart.
So far, my own chubby little legs have landed me in the space of a creative, a healer and a free spirit. I gravitate toward all things that resonate with these concepts. And as for the healer part, I funnily enough realized that whatever I do as me, triggers healing for others. My favourite and only common factor among these, is that I get to be 100% myself. That is the only thing I've ever aspired to be, since it hasn't always been the case.
This is for those who weren't afforded the space to be themselves, honourable mention to my eldest siblings and children to unhealthy parent dynamics: Spending years of your life, trying to live for someone else is exhausting. It can almost send you into hermit mode when you finally get to breathe. Finally sitting there with yourself, but not knowing who that is, is truly terrifying. But when you do reach that stage of feeling secure in your being, you end up here. On the blog that encourages honest thought and expression, outside the constraints of forces that work against you. We may almost be rebels to some.
My days of writing began in my childhood diary. Growing up in my Caribbean family, there was no dialect about feelings. Ever. And there was to be no tears. So, your only option is to cry on your own or write and being me, I chose them both. At that age, my entries mostly consisted of a few scribbles of an escape plan and dried teardrops. Nonetheless, it was still a decent outlet for my own emotions. When I reached my teen years, my pages would be filled with big, confused feelings. The confusion came from not really knowing how to feel and process my emotions. That skill is unheard of within black families and so it was something I had to learn on my own. That's where the gratitude for my journal comes in. She knows me better than I know myself at this point. It's the raw, unfiltered content of my heart. It has been one of the best habits I've had and will continue to be so.
My wish is that this blog will be a version of that for us all. A space for raw thought and conversation. If there's something being thought, there's something to be said.
And so with that, I really hope that this blog inspires the thinker, the feeler, the dreamer within you. This is a community where the mind is accepted and embraced for all its magic, and I hope that you feel safe enough to share your thoughts too. Happy reading!
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