The Tea on Mary Jane

Mary Jane – you either love it or you hate it. I found my middle ground so let’s talk.

Mother Earth’s Medicine. Mary J is one of those plants that can have good benefits. Of course, when used in moderation. She can help you to sleep, stimulate appetite, and generally help to clear a mind. These are supposed to be good things, but in excessive use, it’s quite the opposite. Within our communities, I’d deem weed as normalised. At a time when I thought people should be shaking their head, it turns out more people were sharing a spliff than concerns. It’s a social activity that flew under the radar unless you were joining the rotation. And I did. So, here’s what I had to learn from doing so.

It’s fun until it’s not. Lighting up feels almost like a rite of passage for a lot of young people. Whether you were introduced at 15 or got the gist at university like me. We’ve probably all been there and done that. When I first started entertaining Mary J, I was eating it. I couldn’t get over my distaste for smoking, especially having been around it since a child. Edibles seemed like a safe bet for me, emphasis on the seemed. It started out good. At best, you’d have the giggles, fascinating new thoughts, and extreme munchies. At worst, you’d have a bad trip and need to go to bed. I thought that would be the worst it’d get until I really hit the deep end.

What they tell you, but you probably overlooked, is that messing with any substances is dependent on your current state of mind. How you feel about your present situation, will dictate how the high will go. At first. I was excited to be starting university, so naturally I was okay to be high. It wasn’t until my family issues had finally followed me to my new space that it went sideways. I began to have bad trips, I was overindulging, and feeding my body with nothing good. I was using Mary J to numb me from one of the lowest points I’d had. Eventually, the hurt and the high led me to a point where I simply didn’t want to exist. With not one sober fibre, I told my friend this and immediately she came to my rescue. As they sat with me, I cried and I shared the things I was dealing with, all the while grateful to them. They supported me through this time, and I knew that I couldn’t keep doing edibles any longer. If it hadn’t been for them, who knows if I’d be here now.

After this whole ordeal, I ended up switching to smoking. A moment of silence for the action with no thought. Although I had some terrible experiences with edibles, the start of my smoking journey began on a lighter note (catch my pun). My friend and I were in the kitchen of our flat, and she was quite literally teaching me to smoke. I’d half try and give up and she’d laugh then tell me to get a grip. We laugh about it still as I would complain that I didn’t like the taste, but I ended up going through a heavy smoking phase regardless. By the time I had developed a smoking habit, I was in a deep masking phase of my feelings. I had no joy, I hated university, and my home life was falling apart too. Smoking became the easier habit to forget about my troubles. I went from social smoking, to rolling up by myself every day. They say when you reach the solo smoker stage, you’ve hit rock bottom. And for me, this was the second time.

I developed a dependency on weed and smoked consistently for about two years. I knew I needed to get free from it, but with a father who’s smoked all his life, I figured the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Thankfully, with the help of my friend, I was able to cut down and eventually stop. It’s been a little while now, and I’ve experienced everything in my relationship with Mary J. Deciding to drastically cut back changed my life in so many ways. Overall, these things allowed me to understand that it’s easy to “self-medicate” with weed. A lot of us smoke to cope with problems, but in actuality it just makes it a billion times worse. I said weed is good, in moderation. Now, I completely understand the need to control the use. Since the necessary changes, I’ve been able to have the clarity to do my own inner healing and to figure out what it was I was trying to run from. I improved not only my relationship with myself, but also my relationship with Mary J. When I light up now, I do it for the spiritual experience and not to mask any feelings. I’m able to have healthy realisations and gain a deeper understanding of myself and my life.

The long-standing debate: is weed addictive?

From my experience, no. I don’t consider it to be an addiction any more than a dependency. It doesn’t make it any better, but I think k there’s more room to survive Mary J. I shared these experiences to highlight how marijuana can affect you in so many ways. It’s important to be self-aware and in tune with your mental state at every point. Weed is still a drug, even if it is earthly. That gives more reason to appreciate and not over consume. If you take anything from this, let it be that you control the substances, not the other way around.