What Comes Next?

Honestly, I’m so bored of going back and forth with the plan for life.

Let me start off by saying that I know there’s already a plan for all our lives in place. It’s just the getting there that stumps me. I’m 20, still, and have no clue where to go next. I spent my last year working full time and dealing with family trauma. This is the first time I’m actually free of that (almost). So, the question lingers, what’s next?

If you’re apart of my generation, then you’ll understand that we carry a lot. Between trying to figure out what we’d like to do, and elders continually whispering life decisions in our ear; We reach a big crossroad. Times have ironically changed, so it doesn’t seem as feasible to go from job, to spouse, to kids, and then right to misery. While I’m grateful that we live in a time where we have the visual of our world being our oyster, there’s a lot of choice and a lot of noise. Which fish do you decide to be? At this point, I’m just a tuna fish trying not to get eaten by the array of bigger fish.

To my young people, do you ever get fed up with others (elders included) feeding you their version of what your life should look like? I’m grateful, here and there, for the small fragments of sound advice. The rest, however, is just projections. This is entirely my opinion so feel free to take it or leave it. To elaborate, we live in a totally different time. We have way more options, avenues that didn’t exist before, and just a generally more “accepting” society. I say it that way as to not ignore the still very constrictive and limiting aspects of our society, especially as a black woman. But to continue, we have the choices they never had. I get it, I’d feel a type of way too. To know that there were life paths that you wished you could take and didn’t. But in the kindest of words, what does that ever have to do with me? We reach a point where it’s no longer advice, and simply just them projecting onto you the life they would have claimed had they been born in the same season as you. Extra kindly put, we can’t expect valid advice from people who have also never traveled the paths we’re intending to try.

Projections and rules out the way, let’s talk personal truths. I mentioned that it’s normal for us to want to try everything out there. I can own up and say I’ve envisioned myself in every profession from teacher, to zookeeper, to farmer in the wild. I still feel I could do these all pretty well. But I simply wouldn’t have the chance to. Whilst it’s valid to have the urge to shapeshift and be adaptable with our talents, there physically isn’t room for us to do so. With the confines of our society and working world still in heavy control, we will never be able to live out the wildest lives we maybe daydreamed about a few times. You might be thinking, “that’s ridiculous because I can and I will”. Fair play to you because I think this all the time. However, there comes a time when we remember that whilst we may be excellent at anything we put our hand to, we still want to do the things that set our hearts on fire. And alongside that, we also remember that life is bitterly sweet yet short.

At this moment, you ask yourself what really matters to you? What things will make your soul feel fulfilled when you’re making that big transition into whatever you believe comes after life? It’s a loaded question I know, but it’s something we’ll constantly ask ourselves, even when we are happy in what we’re doing. I guess I say all this to say, while we may not be able to do the whole catalogue of our daydreams, we absolutely have the chance to narrow down our favourites. Yes, society doesn’t want to see us win, but it does benefit from us having intention with what we’d like to do. Whether it’s one thing you’ve loved since infancy, or it’s switching it up every time you have a spiritual breakthrough. You can try it.

As I write this, I’m having a mere of my own. I had, once again, reached a stage where I thought I had figured it all out. Its periodical so I should be breezing through it. Note how I said should. This is a universal feeling among this generation. I’d like to share why I feel we always go through this. Why we always feel as though we’ve unlocked our soul purpose, just to turn around 3 months later and be staring at the blank canvas all over again.

It’s because we recognised that we can change. As the generations moved along, so did the understanding of our existence. With each age group, we became more enlightened and aware to the fluidity behind our existence. It’s no longer about being rigid or being “stable”. We can now see that are extremely versatile. It’s beyond beautiful to recognise that we grow, and we shift, and we evolve. Ignoring that is what really got us into the mess of feeling stuck looking for a lifelong “thing” in the first place. And it’s why we should take it lightly when we’re confused all over again. What I mean, is it’s entirely normal to change. If we didn’t, how boring would that be? Almost as boring as watching life pass you by.

So, let yourself change. Honor the evolution that blessed us with your existence and with your multifaceted mind. You have a plethora of talents at your fingertips, and this life is your chance to explore them. You are supposed to change. Don’t let something which you’ve outgrown anchor you to a version of yourself that doesn’t exist. Accept change. You’ll find that your soul purpose is mostly about allowing yourself to appreciate every season which you inhabit, and every interest which you allow your mind to roam. Soak it all in and get excited. The choices are yours. What comes next?